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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Spaces Between Darkness, and Light.

Darkness crept in. It swallowed all things like an angry spider, and it was hard to wake up. It was hard to find a reason through the dark tunnels that carved me away. I looked around, only to find no return from the shallow eyes that stared back. So I looked away with a melancholy muffled by the hollow railway sparks. The air was heavy with inhospitality.

And like two subway cars that merge to ride side by side for a time then inevitably part, so too was my heart with this sadness. But I feared the convergence was too intimate an encounter, because sadness is a stranger. I found myself somewhere in between the two cars, two thoughts, two emotions. Teetering on the narrow tracks that connect the dark places to the light, the spaces between expand until the darkness was just a memory, and the light a familiar Shepherd.

I may have been balancing on both sides the two burdensome extremes, with the space between widening beneath my feet and marginalizing both darkness and light. And I was lost in the expanse. The incandescent reason sauntered out before me as my steps became the very first, and the very last. It was because for the first time in weeks I saw the ground before my feet and where it was that I was going. I was furthermore acknowledging these steps for the very last times. Until of course, there was to be something of more importance to espy and replace all the substandard distractions that vie for my attention. I felt an allegiance to that clutter which would soon be removed from the focus of my adoration while they served well to remind me that they too, were worth seeing.

I watched as the leaves twinkled as if sparked by the wind. They summoned my contemplation like an old sweater that longed to be worn. And I put it on. Perchance for the very last time. Out of loyalty. Out of love. Out of reverence of the idea. And though I cosset the infinitesimally insignificant significance of such things, I continued to traverse across the widening gap towards the light which drew me. And now to maintain all loyalties in my periphery, the frames around the new and more becoming landscapes.

Here we are, in this all encompassing gray, in the spaces between the darkness and light. The light a familiar Shepherd and the darkness was a sad stranger. The Shepherd flashes in the distance, but my heels sink through the gray that is reluctant to release. It became undeniably apparent to me just how expansive this space is, and yet we aggrandize our paltry ration of it. The majority of our petite lives are spent floundering within the confines of our own indecipherable clotted gray spaces. Manufactured limitations prevent us from materializing the gray uncertainties into a concrete surface upon which to establish a moderation of themes. Keeping the periphery on the borders of the greater picture, the frames upon which to hang our ultimate goal.

My heels sink as I tread across to a familiar friend.